August 28th, Be humble...
Oh, how the universe works. As I laid, stewing, yet again about why the injustice of my life and parallels to events in our country, around ‘stealing’ (taking of that which does not belong to one, it can't feel good?!!) - I am faced with the message of humility. Ouch, appropriate. Why do I not pray and work more on this? I really am not an overly prideful person, (spend a significant part of my life on self-improvement/discovery) but this is not the first time it has come up that I should consider my relationship with humility.
Were things coming to easy for me in my success? Was I neglecting gratitude? Could I have been less independent? Where was my faith? Am I called to something else? Nothing was easy, my capacity a gift I value. Like to believe I am consistent in being grateful, pretty regularly a bedtime ritual. In the absence of support, I default to independence, it’s survival. Clearly, my faith was not channeled in the right direction as I attempted to hang on to the vision, I held around carrying out the family legacy and transferring it to the future generation. I will maintain though; my motives are pure. I do not filter my life through ‘what’s in it for me’ but yet I get to experience humility, at this time like I have never before – though – I was asked before (as we all are) …
After I won, through class vote, an award in 8th grade – friends were 'mad' at me. Getting the lead in ballet, after never having a misstep - did at the recital. The day before our first football game, as cheerleader captain - I broke my ankle. Within our family, successes not really celebrated. One after another employee, my brother-in-law/own sister most of all - tried to discredit me within the company. I got pregnant out of wedlock. Was involved in a drunken hit and run. Twenty years of sobriety. My eldest was a runaway for a year or so. When opportunity presented, most the company (nor industry) displayed any loyalty to me. And so on...
All part of who I am now and am being called to be... humbled, investing more in my spiritual relationship.
Hmmm, calling…day 45!
Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!
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